• mom: Aww, you're so cute.
  • me: That's not a picture of me, that's a picture of a dog.
  • mom: I... I knew that.

  • : while watching the matrix
  • mom: Didn't this guy play the elf queen in the hobbit?
  • me: ...
  • mom: He did, didn't he?
  • me: Yep.

anything
  • manyblinkinglights: Horuss would basically do ANYTHING for you if you acted like he was a horse during it
  • manyblinkinglights: doesn't matter what
  • Mage: wedsfdsfsdghfdhgfds

  • Mage: you should talk to me about dog cocks
  • Chippy: yeah that sounds a lot better than homework good idea
  • Mage: no do your homework
  • Chippy: NO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT DOG COCKS

In a perfect world...
  • Mage: In a perfect world.
  • Mage: One in which all Robins live in ~harmony~.
  • Mage: Jason takes over as Nightwing
  • Mage: And Dick is Batman and Damian is Robin and Tim gets punched in the face until he stops being an asshole and gets a better name.
  • Mage: And Colin gets training and totally joins a new team with Damian.
  • Chippy: and they are BESTEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE
  • Mage: And they move in together and have sex all the time and 25 cats.
  • Chippy: wow reading that sentence too fast
  • Chippy: gave me the mental image of them having sex
  • Chippy: and then damian has kittens
  • Mage: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
  • Mage: OH GOD
  • Mage: LMAO
  • Mage: oh gooooood
  • Mage: They would have to find owners for all the kittens-- or no, Damian would want to keep them all to himself.
  • Mage: they are his BABIES
  • Chippy: And Dick is crying, "MY PRECIOUS BABY BROTHER I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN."
  • Mage: "WHY DIDN'T YOU USE PROTECTION."
  • Chippy: And Jason just kind of grins and says, "And here I thought /Colin/ was the bottom."
  • Mage: And Damian totally goes for his throat.
  • Mage: Because he's under a lot of pressure already okay and his temper is short.
  • Mage: HE HAS MOUTHS TO FEED NOW.
  • Mage: JASON CAN'T TAUNT HIM, HE'S A PARENT.
  • Mage: GDI
  • Chippy: HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE CHILDREN
  • Mage: LOLOLOLOLOL
  • Mage: OH MY GOD
  • Mage: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING
  • Chippy: i'm dying oh my god

ain't no holla back boi
  • Chippy: when damian hears jason whooping he laughs and hollars back
  • Chippy: hollas at his boi
  • Chippy: what
  • Mage: oh my god

  • Chippy: They made us buy this sketchbook and I don't know why the fuck it said 100 lbs on the cover because that shit did not weigh 100 pounds okay!
  • Mage: Chippy........

Props to Damian for having Indian food right before buttsex btw.
tumblr user kingchips on damian wayne’s anal adventures
my penis
  • chippy: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m842ogXYvy1qi3dugo1_500.jpg
  • chippy: That's my penis.
  • mage: WHAT
  • chippy: No actually it's a blind snake.
  • mage: WHAT
  • chippy: My penis is perfect and beautiful in every way.

animu
  • chippy: What animes have you watched?
  • mage: Uhhh, Fullmetal Alchemist. That's about it, really.
  • chippy: Naruto, you said?
  • mage: I never said Naruto.
  • chippy: Right, Naruto....

fame
  • mage: I thought you were tumblr famous when I first met you.
  • chippy: Oh. Sorry, no. I just post good porn. I legit think that's why all my followers follow me.
  • mage: Yeah, probably.
  • chippy: There are a few who don't like it, and I have no idea what they're doing.

All I want is to speak a language that looks like it was written by elves, is that too much to ask?
chippy
my status is "fuck the patriarchy" and this is why
  • him: you
  • me: Hi, what's up?
  • him: what's the patriarchy
  • me: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=patriarchy
  • him: That says all societies are patriarchies?
  • me: I would agree unless you can point to a society that is inarguably matriarchal.
  • me: And not just in terms of property law.
  • him: The Amazons?
  • me: That… isn't a real society?
  • him: Well, it was based on a matriarchy in the area.
  • him: I don't know what the name of that tribe is
  • him: but that tribe was real.
  • me: If you can give me proof of that, I'll say that's a valid argument, but I don't think that's true.
  • me: Regardless, most societies are patriarchies and one counterexample doesn't disprove that.
  • him: Whoa now, not an argument.
  • him: Hey, I'm not starting a fight.
  • me: oh, argument in terms of "thing you said"
  • me: Not in terms of "fight".
  • me: Sorry, not trying to imply it's a fight. I'm using argument to mean "the opinion that you're putting forth" and not trying to imply any sort of heatedness behind that, or my response.
  • him: Alrighty then.
  • him: So you're expressing general discontent with society.
  • him: Specifically gender relations.
  • me: Well, in this case I was furious about the response to the Daniel Tosh thing.
  • me: But in general, yes, that sums up my feelings.
  • him: If I had to guess, you're upset at Tosh.
  • me: I'm not upset at Tosh, I'm upset at the men I know personally who defend his actions.
  • me: Or who care more about protecting his free speech than fighting rape culture or protecting rape victims.
  • me: I don't know Tosh, I can't be angry at him except on a very abstract level since he represents a lot of bullshit that does make me angry.
  •  he hasn't replied for 10 minutes

i'm already a princess
  • me: I totally want to be a princess still.
  • dude in class: Wait, weren't you talking yesterday about how Disney shoves princesses down little girl's throats?
  • me: Yeah.
  • dude in class: So then, how can you want to be a princess?
  • me: Okay, you get like one opportunity to abort this conversation before I go all feminist on you, and this is it.
  • dude: ...So how about that local sports team?

astronomy 101
  • me: I hate the patriarchy. I hate everything. Everything. I want to live on the moon.
  • mom: That won't help.
  • me: Why not?
  • mom: Cause it's a man in the moon.